Baby

4/28/2009



Baby, you're here...we're with you.

Baby, you're here...we're in love with you!


Visitors, thank you.

Dancing Baby

Last night, I sang and sang to you because it just felt right. Lo and behold, you started to dance in my belly! I stopped singing, you stopped moving. I started singing, and there you went, again!

We've had some quiet, garden days, haven't we? I've stopped listening to people's advice on how to make you "come out" sooner, faster, induce labor...you will know when you're ready. All that I might have missed had I kept sitting around, just waiting...we're still participating with each other!

Love you so much, and dad...oh, dad has so many plans for you. Many which involve lots of exasperated sighs and eye-rolling from mom. But all good fun--I can't wait to see what kind of buddies you turn out to be!

36-37 Weeks

You've dropped, lots of false labor...any time now, eh, little Brellow?

They say that the closer to the due date, the less movement. Well, little man, you certainly have proven them wrong! And, we know that you really, really don't like having your heartbeat listened to--the nurse last week said you were ornery. I love it. Are you already aware? Certainly, I hope to not train out of you the immediate expression of your feelings on things. Beautiful baby. My little fish.

Dad has been murmuring the promise of sandwiches to you in the evening. You and your dad, sitting together, munching and having a talk about your day. I look forward to that, my guy.

Our guy! Soon, dad will be able to hold you, as well!

We're at 34 weeks, baby...

Little one...

We made it to 34 weeks! They say you have a 99% chance of surviving if born, now! And you're moving so much...I feel you with me, always. Even the painful moments...I don't mind.

Soon, you're kicking right now! Soon...

I can't wait to bundle you up, diaper you, sniff you...I can't wait to see you holding hands with dad, sleeping...

Take your time, but we both know time inside is coming to an end, don't we?
My little fish...you're now a BrellowBoy!

Dear Baby!

I write to you, little Baby B, but it seems more and more I write to you in my journal, and not here...

Is it because holding a pen feels more intimate than typing in between emails? You've been kicking so much, lately--I'm so aware of your presence that we have lots of audible conversations. Lucky that dad doesn't think (or expresses aloud) how crazy this might be, but I have no doubt that I am not alone in this, pregnancy-wise. How could anyone NOT talk back? (Kick) "yeah, mom--that was a good sandwich! (Kick) "Where's my drink? I'm thirsty!" How I interpret your kicks is not unlike a magic 8-ball. It depends on my mood.

The weather has warmed up quite a bit, and you really enjoyed our time outdoors yesterday! Mama's back is just killing her, but we managed some time in the lawn chair, sunbathing in that 70-degree weather, didn't we?

Soon, you can see all this for yourself, as well as the little ladybugs we've been hosteling in a jar with apple peels. They are a bit too eager for spring, but when you arrive, we'll release them together. How does that sound?

We're together, still, my Little Brellowfish!

29/30 weeks? I can't believe it--the end of our journey, nested the way you are inside of me...we are closer to the end than we are to the beginning at this point. Where did the time go? After 36 weeks, any labor that starts will be allowed to continue. That sounds so official! 35 weeks and 6 days, no dice. But 36 weeks...

Take your time, little Brellowfish...we can't wait to smell your hair, kiss your wee feet, whisper secrets. Dad has undoubtedly already impressed you a great deal--your kicks are most enthusiastic when he's around! That said, take your time. Take the time you need in order to be a healthy little Fish when you emerge. The discomfort is nothing, truly. Don't worry one whit about any of that--just be you and what you need.

Love,
Us

Dear Brellowfish, at 28 Weeks...

Oh, an early morning, just you and me, little fish. Your Dad had a tough weekend, and he slumbers away, which makes me glad. The house feels so good! It always feels good to be home, but the quiet time feels extra-special today.

I worked into late last night--a bit naughty, staying up until 2am, but I do that, little Brellowfish. Mama is a bit intense, sometimes--very focused. But the entire time I worked, I was aware of your presence. You refused to be ignored! You've been active and kicking for some time, now, but seeing it expressed through my belly is still amazing to me. After I went to bed, finally, you were still kicking up a storm. I put my hands on my stomach and gently pressed back. And you responded in kind...kick! Kick!

Sometime after 32 weeks, the midwife said that Dad may be able to hear your heartbeat using a toilet paper tube. For fun, he tried, yesterday. No heartbeat, but when he removed the tube and put his ear to my belly, there you were, again! Kicking, as if to say, "Yes, I know you're out there! I can't wait!" Or maybe, "Hey, this is MY space!"

Who knows--you'll have to tell us, sometime. My gosh, we can't wait to meet you.

Love,
Mom and Dad

A New Year

A new president, a new person...I hope you are well, Little Baby B. Our Brellowfish.

The holidays were stressful, and you let me know by kicking and hiccuping through most of the festivities. That, combined with back spasms from standing too long, talking to people I didn't know and missing out on good family time made for one grouchy mama. I was asked afterwards, after all the gifts, "Wasn't it worth it?"

I have to say, my little guy, that at some point in your life, you might think your mama is a bit odd. Can you put a pricetag on quality time with family? I'm so, so happy for you to have all these lovely things, but you were so fortunate to have plenty to begin with--all those lovely pre-loved items, already well washed, softened from use...and if we had to worry about dyes and chemicals in cloth, hopefully most of those are gone, too! You had plenty before, and have plenty, now. I know Dad and I will find a way to put those giftcards to good use, but I wonder about how much money was spent on food. On how much I had to spend on a chiropractor to set everything straight (no Target giftcard for that!), on how little time we had with the Big Family (you will meet them, no doubt!), on how the money and time spent on food probably equated to the amount we received in gifts, on how stressed I might have made you, with my holiday tiredness.

I wish I had the personality to have handled all this better, My Little Guy, but mama's personality was not a consideration, so it all has to be appreciated in retrospect. I'll feel better after the next prenatal exam, when they tell me you are right on target. I love you so much...

Me.