We're together, still, my Little Brellowfish!

29/30 weeks? I can't believe it--the end of our journey, nested the way you are inside of me...we are closer to the end than we are to the beginning at this point. Where did the time go? After 36 weeks, any labor that starts will be allowed to continue. That sounds so official! 35 weeks and 6 days, no dice. But 36 weeks...

Take your time, little Brellowfish...we can't wait to smell your hair, kiss your wee feet, whisper secrets. Dad has undoubtedly already impressed you a great deal--your kicks are most enthusiastic when he's around! That said, take your time. Take the time you need in order to be a healthy little Fish when you emerge. The discomfort is nothing, truly. Don't worry one whit about any of that--just be you and what you need.

Love,
Us

Dear Brellowfish, at 28 Weeks...

Oh, an early morning, just you and me, little fish. Your Dad had a tough weekend, and he slumbers away, which makes me glad. The house feels so good! It always feels good to be home, but the quiet time feels extra-special today.

I worked into late last night--a bit naughty, staying up until 2am, but I do that, little Brellowfish. Mama is a bit intense, sometimes--very focused. But the entire time I worked, I was aware of your presence. You refused to be ignored! You've been active and kicking for some time, now, but seeing it expressed through my belly is still amazing to me. After I went to bed, finally, you were still kicking up a storm. I put my hands on my stomach and gently pressed back. And you responded in kind...kick! Kick!

Sometime after 32 weeks, the midwife said that Dad may be able to hear your heartbeat using a toilet paper tube. For fun, he tried, yesterday. No heartbeat, but when he removed the tube and put his ear to my belly, there you were, again! Kicking, as if to say, "Yes, I know you're out there! I can't wait!" Or maybe, "Hey, this is MY space!"

Who knows--you'll have to tell us, sometime. My gosh, we can't wait to meet you.

Love,
Mom and Dad

A New Year

A new president, a new person...I hope you are well, Little Baby B. Our Brellowfish.

The holidays were stressful, and you let me know by kicking and hiccuping through most of the festivities. That, combined with back spasms from standing too long, talking to people I didn't know and missing out on good family time made for one grouchy mama. I was asked afterwards, after all the gifts, "Wasn't it worth it?"

I have to say, my little guy, that at some point in your life, you might think your mama is a bit odd. Can you put a pricetag on quality time with family? I'm so, so happy for you to have all these lovely things, but you were so fortunate to have plenty to begin with--all those lovely pre-loved items, already well washed, softened from use...and if we had to worry about dyes and chemicals in cloth, hopefully most of those are gone, too! You had plenty before, and have plenty, now. I know Dad and I will find a way to put those giftcards to good use, but I wonder about how much money was spent on food. On how much I had to spend on a chiropractor to set everything straight (no Target giftcard for that!), on how little time we had with the Big Family (you will meet them, no doubt!), on how the money and time spent on food probably equated to the amount we received in gifts, on how stressed I might have made you, with my holiday tiredness.

I wish I had the personality to have handled all this better, My Little Guy, but mama's personality was not a consideration, so it all has to be appreciated in retrospect. I'll feel better after the next prenatal exam, when they tell me you are right on target. I love you so much...

Me.

26 weeks